


Unlit

by attachedtothebevs



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Ableism, Depression, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-10-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 16:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attachedtothebevs/pseuds/attachedtothebevs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One second. Too late, too soon, it didn’t matter. But one second changed everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Your address hangs on my wall

One second. Too late, too soon, it didn’t matter. But one second changed everything.

Geoff and Gavin were on their way home from the office when they stopped at an intersection, waited for the green light, started to cross it and some fucking jackass on a phone t-boned their truck.

Geoff had a few bruises and cuts on the side of his face and arm. The other driver got a broken nose from the airbag. Gavin, however, was not so lucky. He’d been in the passenger seat, the side that the truck drove into. At the last second, he turned his head to the right. He saw it coming. And that was the last thing he saw.

When Gavin woke up, every muscle in his body hurt. It was dark and he had the most vicious headache in his life. He tried to sit up but a hand met his shoulder and kept him down.

“Gavin. Hey, buddy, it’s me. Geoff. Don’t try to get up.”

“Geoff? What’s… uh, what’s happening?” Even talking hurt, his throat felt like it was burning.

“You’re in the hospital.” Even though the fog Gavin could hear how his voice cracked. “We were in a car crash. Do you remember?”

It was hard, but Gavin focused on the last things he remembered. He and Geoff had gotten into his car… Gavin remembered them laughing, making dinner plans…

“Yeah, kinda… Are you okay?”

“I’m alright.” Geoff’s voice was quiet.

“Hey, why is it so dark here? Can you turn on the lights?”

There was no easy way to say it. The nurse had offered to tell him, but Geoff flat-out refused. It was a group decision, though. Everyone else was out in the waiting room, and when they heard the news, the first thing they thought was “Who’s going to tell him?”

Out of the possible ten or so people the most sensible choice was Geoff, even if he was the one who was the biggest mess of them all. The whole time Gavin was in surgery people had to calm him down, keep him from yelling at the doctors, comfort him when he broke down crying because he was convinced it was his fault, even though he did nothing wrong. Burnie must have walked miles and miles as he paced around the little overcrowded waiting room. Michael just kind of sat there staring into space with a blank expression. Everyone else was in various states of distress. 

And while nurses and doctors were trained to handle situations like these, nobody deserved to hear that they were quite possibly permanently blind from a stranger.

Nobody could handle news like that well. Not even Gavin.

_Especially_ not Gavin.

x x x

Three months. They said that if he were to regain his sight, it would happen in about three months.

Well, three months sluggishly passed by and Gavin didn’t get any better. If he was honest, he’d already lost hope by the end of the first month. That’s when he asked Barbara to buy him a one-way ticket back to England and demanded Burnie give him papers to sign officially stating that Gavin Free was no longer an employee at Rooster Teeth.

Nobody at all wanted to let him go, but at the same time they knew they couldn’t keep him. Gavin wasn’t himself anymore and he didn’t want to stay in America. Along with his sight he lost his passion for life, for work. Being no longer able to do any of the things he loved completely stripped him of his goofy, happy personality.

Rooster Teeth didn’t upload anything for a week after the accident.

It took Achievement Hunter two months to do anything at all.

There were a dozen videos that were put into a hard drive and locked into a drawer. The last ones all six of them had recorded.

Let’s Play Minecraft and AHWU were put on hold indefinitely. Rage Quits were far more violent. One-off Let’s Plays were far quieter and lacked the vitality and the pure, undiluted fun they were loved for.

They tried to get back into it, but it was difficult.

x x x

Six months. Five since Gavin left for England. Three since he stopped calling. One since he stopped answering calls.

Ever since he’d left, Geoff called him probably just as frequently as he called his parents. Gavin was a good actor, he could lie for days about how he was getting used to it all and how he was doing alright, but Geoff knew that wasn’t the case. And when Gavin’s mother called him, worried that her son hadn’t really moved at all for weeks, just lying in bed all day listening to music and sleeping more than was probably healthy, not talking to anyone, Geoff knew that it was time. He and Michael bought tickets to England and flew off on a mission to get Gavin back.

When they came into his room they found Gavin lying on the bed, seemingly staring up at the ceiling with headphones on. Even in the near-darkness of the room his scars were plainly visible, his open eyes directed at nothing in particular, looking unfocused, vacant. Emotionless.

"Hey, Gavvers." 

Michael didn't get a response. He and Geoff exchanged looks and moved closer. Michael lightly touched Gavin on the leg and he jumped halfway to the ceiling, whipping his head to the vague direction of the intrusion. 

"What the _fuck_ do you want? I bloody told you to leave me alone."

The two were stunned into silence. Michael couldn't remember the last time he heard Gavin curse, let alone be this angry at anyone, ever. 

"It's us, Gav. Michael and Geoff."

They saw his eyes widen and before he even said a word, he lunged towards his bed stand and grabbed a pair of sunglasses, quickly putting them on. Out of the corner of his eye Michael saw Geoff flinch at the behavior. Like it physically hurt him that Gavin was acting like this. Like he felt the need to hide from them. Michael's heart sunk. 

"Geoff? Michael? What are you doing here?" Gavin clearly tried for excitement but didn't quite get there. 

"We're here to take you home, buddy."


	2. And I've got nothing at all to remember you by

It took days to convince Gavin to come to America, but thankfully he caved.

His trip was meticulously thought out. When the three of them landed they immediately made their way to the Ramsey's. They had wonderful food and beer and Gavin actually kinda smiled once or twice. 

They very purposefully didn't invite anyone else because they didn't want to overwhelm Gavin with more than four people. They hadn't even taken into account his reaction to going back to his old room. When he'd left he'd only taken his clothes and other necessities, so all of his other stuff was still there. Geoff hadn't moved anything and nobody else stepped into the room. It was just as Gavin remembered it. The objects felt familiar under his touch, the floor plan easy to navigate. Michael had to get him out of there mere minutes later because he saw how flustered Gavin was getting. Like the room was hurting him in some way. 

Michael had half a mind to ask Geoff and Griffon to switch bedrooms with him for the night, but then he thought he didn’t want to injure Gavin’s pride. So instead Michael asked if he could stay the night because he was drunk and didn’t want to take a cab home.

Which was true, but one of the reasons why he wanted to stay was because he had this irrational fear that Gavin would wander out and get lost or just somehow find a way to get himself to the airport and go back to England without even saying goodbye. It was like a reoccurring nightmare Michael had, except he was awake through all of it.

He felt really bad about lying that the couch over at the house was really uncomfortable to sleep on and in doing so basically forcing Gavin into letting him sleep in his bed together (not that he put up a fight at all, but still). Michael kept telling himself that it was for Gavin’s benefit, too. So that he wouldn’t feel alone on his first day back. So that if he needed anything, Michael would be right there.

Another reason was… well, Michael missed Gavin. And he thought that going out with Geoff to England to fetch him would lift that horrible weight on his chest, but it didn’t. Michael thought that seeing him would stop that awful feeling in his gut, but it didn’t. He knew that the man sitting on the bed in a dark room with a blank expression on his face and sunglasses hiding his eyes was Gavin, but it wasn’t _Gavin_. Not the Gavin Michael knew. Not _his_ Gavin. 

Six months ago if Michael had found himself in a room with Gavin about to go to sleep in the same bed, he would have been excited. He’d have butterflies in his tummy and a tingle in his chest. Michael would smile and laugh and shove him off the bed, and then when he knew Gavin was asleep, he’d gently snake an arm around his waist and scoot closer. And just as he drifted off he’d plant a little kiss on his bare arm and a tiny giggle would see him off into a deep, comfortable sleep. And they’d wake up with their limbs tangled and never speak of it, just like all those other times. It was just how they worked.

Ever since the day they met and Gavin sat down next to him, staring at him for lack of anything else to do and offering to edit Rage Quit for him, ever since then they'd had this thing. Nobody could deny they had chemistry. They flirted with the ludicrous idea of being something more than friends, but never seriously. There was no weight behind the tiny, fluffy, secret kisses, no real bravery behind the lewd comments and insinuations. It was just a thing. A thing that never really existed but popped up in their periphery every now and then, like a gentle reminder that it's always been a possibility. 

Now, however, Michael found himself at a loss of what to do. He didn’t feel excited; he felt scared. The weight on his chest seemed that much heavier when they settled in under the covers, about half a mile of bed between their bodies, and he noticed that Gavin didn’t take his sunglasses off.

All of the anxiety seemed to just seep out of Michael and it was replaced by plain old sadness. He reached out to lightly touch Gavin on the shoulder, and he turned his head towards Michael, as if to ask what he wanted.

Michael slowly took the glasses between his fingers and immediately Gavin’s hand shot up to stop him.

“Gav… It’s okay. Relax. It’s just me. Michael. You don’t have to hide.”

“I’m not…”

“Yeah, you are. Please, just… come on.” Slowly, Gavin retracted his hand and let him pull the sunglasses off his face and set them on the bedside table. His eyes were closed, his features scrunched up.

“Goodnight, Michael.” Gavin said with finality and quickly turned to his side, away from him. Michael reached to touch him again, but stopped himself.

Baby steps, he figured. Michael got him to take his glasses off, and it would have to be enough for that day. “Goodnight, Gavin.” He replied. “It’s really good to have you back.” Michael added in a sad little murmur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I kinda lied, there's going to be ~at least~ 4-5 chapters total. (if you've read any of my other stuff you'll probably notice that this is a theme with me, I just can't seem to stop once I've got the ball rolling)
> 
> I love love love it when y'all comment <3 x


	3. And we could wait a while, let everything have it's way

Michael spent every second he could with Gavin. The first few weeks Gavin would refuse to come to the office for more than half an hour, he’d only come in to say hi to everyone, so every day Michael would go have lunch with him and every evening after work Michael would go and get him to take him out for dinner or just to hang out. And because at first Gavin insisted on staying at home while everyone was at work, Michael would spend hours each night finding him stuff to listen to – music, audiobooks, stand-up routines – so that he’d have something to do.

Sometimes Michael would count as many as five or even nine or ten smiles a day. Sometimes Gavin would even laugh. It wasn’t the ridiculous squeaky laugh he used to have, but it was something.

Often Gavin would get mad at him, though. For tiny things. Like Michael saying “careful” when he saw that Gavin was about to bump into something. Or for hovering a protective arm around him and getting caught doing it. He hated being taken care of, so Michael had to learn how to do so without it hurting his pride.

It took him a while, but he realized that Gavin was most at ease when Michael treated him like he used to. Yelling at him, calling him an idiot, shoving him around.

He took the ultimate risk one evening when it was so ridiculously hot outside that Michael suggested they go to his apartment complex and swim in the pool.

“Uh, I don’t have trunks.”

“I have a spare I never even wore; they should fit you just fine.” 

Gavin was silent, his lips set into a slight grimace.

“I mean we don’t have to if you don’t want to, we can go get some ice-cream or some shit.”

“No, no, I do, just... I haven’t went swimming since… Actually, I think the last time I did was with you, back before.”

“Back before.” That’s how Gavin called it, Michael had noticed. Vague but to the point.

Gavin was clearly hesitant, but Michael had already decided he was going to commit to treating him as normal as possible. “Well, it’s about time then.”

So swimming they went. In keeping with the whole “Treating Gavin Like He Used To” theme, the first thing Michael did was making fun of him for putting the trunks on backwards.

(“How was I supposed to know which side is the front?!”

“Since when do you tie the strings at the back you idiot?”)

And when they got down to the somewhat crowded pool, he saw that Gavin was getting anxious, but Michael didn’t let him dwell on it. He took Gavin’s “stupid eye stick” and set it aside, letting him hold onto his arm as he led him to the pool.

“We’re at the edge. Step down.” He announced and keeping a firm grip, led him into the water.

Once Michael was sure he was on both feet and wasn’t having a panic attack or anything, he let go and watched him swim for a few feet and stop.

“You’re facing the right way, you can swim to the other end.” Michael said as matter-of-factly as possible.

“Are there a lot of people? I don’t want to bump into anyone.”

“You’re good. Just go.” He encouraged and though it took a few seconds, Gavin kicked off and swam unwaveringly forward. It made Michael’s chest swell when he saw the man bump into the far end of the pool, turn around and smile.

Yeah, he thought. This was how he was going to get Gavin back. By not treating him like a child. By encouraging him to _do things_. 

“Come back!”

Gavin nodded and started swimming back, and Michael couldn’t help but stand in his way, making him bump his head right into Michael’s chest.

“Oh god, sorry, sorry!” Gavin adjusted his sunglasses and stood up, trying to convey that he couldn’t see to who he thought was a stranger he just swam headfirst into. Michael just laughed.

“Is that you, Michael?”

“Mmmhmmm.”

“You asshole!”

“What did you call me?”

“A-S-S-H-O-L-E!”

Before he knew what was happening, Gavin was completely submerged in water. Just for a second, for one terrified second, but Michael had to try it, to see where his limits were. When he hoisted Gavin back above water, he couldn’t have been more glad than to see that he had a big toothy grin on his face, sputtering out a laugh as he held on to the arm play-choking him. His glasses had come off and were now slowly sinking to the bottom of the pool but he didn’t seem to care all that much.

“You got water in my nose you dope!”

“That’s not exactly hard to achieve, Gavvers.”

About 0.4 seconds later Michael felt two big palms on his chest and then suddenly he was underwater, completely thrown off.

They spent the whole evening like that. Just like they used to back before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave a comment <3 x


	4. Crack a secret, subtle smile and everything will be okay

"Hey Michael." Gavin said as they were walking to his car one day after lunch. 

"Yeah?"

"I think I wanna hang out at the office today."

"Oh, cool." Michael replied casually but inside he was doing front flips of happiness. "We're filming a Let's Play in.. Uh, something, I don't know. And then editing for the rest of the day." 

"Sounds good." 

Everyone at the Achievement Hunter office was just a tiny bit happier when they settled in to record. 

There was a moment however when Gavin didn’t know if he felt pleased or thoroughly depressed. He said he'd like to listen to the LP being recorded (and of course everyone was all for it) and made a move to sit on the couch but found Ryan there, just like he used to be with his little set-up. 

"Why don't you sit at the desk next to Michael?" Gavin waved vaguely at it. 

"It's your desk." He replied simply, like he thought Gavin was a bit thick. 

Gavin completely lost his words, a weird mixture of feelings overwhelming him for a minute. "I'm all set up anyway." Ryan said and silently directed the awe-struck Gavin to his chair. It felt familiar, the bounce to it still the same, and he noticed his creeper scarf was still woven into the backrest. 

A wave of nostalgia washed over him as he heard the guys start the recording. It was a happy feeling, listening to his friends bitch and bicker and talk all over each other and Gavin didn't even notice how a laugh bubbled up at Geoff being all indignant because nobody was listening to him. 

"Come on, Jack, I can't wrangle The Lads all by myself!"

Gavin didn't even know that that was the first mention of The Lads since back before. He hadn't realized his little laugh was loud enough to be heard in the video. 

That day was a happy one. Gavin finally felt comfortable enough to hang around his ex coworkers and he actually had loads of fun. There was still a tiny bit of the feeling that made him go back to England in the first place, the nagging that made him resist flying back to visit his friends. 

Gavin and Michael settled in at his apartment for the evening. They indulged in a few too many screwdrivers and pizza and by the end of the night they were just sprawled across Michael's floor. It was dark, he didn't turn the lights on. He never did, not when he was with Gavin. It felt disrespectful and wrong, somehow. 

"What does it feel like?"

They hadn't spoken for about fifteen minutes, just lying on the ground in comfortable silence, but Gavin knew what he was asking about. 

"You know when you get bevved in some strange city and you wake up at four in the morning and it's pitch black and you don't quite know where or even who you are for a minute there?"

"Yeah."

"That's how it feels. All the time, every day. I used to love that feeling of not quite knowing where you are but it's horrible now."

Michael didn't say anything, he didn't pretend he knew how that felt like. 

"I feel useless. That's why I left home and went back to England. I can't do anything I used to be able to, anything I was hired for. And it's bloody horrible."

Left home. _Home_. "You're not useless, Gav. You could never be." Michael couldn't put it into words, couldn't explain all the ways in which Gavin was important. 

After a while he noticed that Gavin was shaking and for a moment he didn't know what was happening, but he realized that Gavin was crying. Michael quickly sat up and wordlessly pulled him into his lap, letting him fiercely wrap his arms around him. 

Michael tried his damnest to remain calm for him, to silently comfort him, but it was hard to see his friend this helplessly miserable. 

"I... I..." Gavin was having trouble breathing. "I... _Michael_."

"I'm here, I'm here, it's okay. Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm starting to f-forget what you look like."

That hurt. It didn't hurt because it was him, it hurt because Gavin was so distraught over it. Michael pulled him away, just enough to take both of his hands and place them on his own face. "It's alright, Gav." Michael was at a complete loss of what to say, so he just encouraged him to explore his face with his cold fingertips, to re-learn his features in a different way.

It took a while but Gavin seemed to calm down a bit. Michael was just staring back at his own reflection in Gavin's sunglasses. He'd long since stopped trying to take them off him because he did it himself when he felt comfortable enough. 

"It's okay, Gavin." Michael repeated. The room was silent, Gavin's palms had warmed up and he was still comfortably sat in his lap. Michael saw him slowly leaning in, he felt the warmth radiating from his body and closed his eyes.

He felt Gavin's soft lips against his own, his scratchy stubble against his skin.

Moments later he pulled away and gave him a little smirk accompanied by a sniffle. "At least I remember that."

Michael did, too. It only happened maybe once or twice, maybe a few times, late at night when they seemed to forget that they were "supposed to" be "just friends". But it did, on more than one occasion. For the life of him he couldn’t count them precisely however, because they always did it in the weird state between being awake and asleep, the no man’s land of life. Sometimes Michael would wake up next to Gavin and he couldn’t tell if it had been a dream or if they’d actually kissed because it always felt beyond surreal even when he was certain it had happened.

Michael gently touched the side of Gavin’s face and he leaned into it with a slight nod, silently giving Michael the go-ahead to kiss him again. This time it was way more frantic, both of their mouths falling open almost immediately. Gavin’s hands were in Michael’s hair and he, in turn, snaked his arms around Gavin’s waist to pull him in as close as physically possible.

It was the first time it felt _real_ , not like some wisp of smoke that disappeared all too soon before they could fully appreciate the beauty of it.

When they broke apart Michael stood up, pulling Gavin along. “Come on, let’s go to sleep.”

Gavin’s head was on Michael’s bare chest, a leg draped over him, listening to his steady, reassuring heartbeat. Michael was playing with his hair and somehow lulling him to sleep, even though he thought he’d be too wound up to.

“It’s really good to have you back.” Michael whispered, not sure if Gavin was awake or not.

Gavin hummed, brought up his hand to plant a kiss right in his palm and then promptly shoved it upwards so that Michael ended up slapping himself with it.

“Really nice, Gav.”

“Enough sappy stuff.”

“Fine. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Michael.” Gavin said his name in that stupid, cute way that he has. “It’s good to be back.” He added quietly and drifted off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, it hurts.
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought xx


	5. But I promise you that I won't leave you here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait. I've been sick lately and struggling to write, so I apologize in advance for taking so long x

On the weekend, The Ramsey-Free household went on a two day road trip around the state, and Michael used that as an opportunity to have some bro-time with Ray. He had to admit that he’d been neglecting quality alone time with him, so Michael tried to make it up by bringing over some of the best hamburgers this side of the country, a six-pack of cokes for Ray and beer for himself.

They settled in comfortably, stuffing their faces, and talked about work. But to be fair, work for them meant video games, so it wasn’t at all boring or forced. They discussed what new games they could try for Let’s Play and just good recent games in general. However, Michael had to admit he wasn’t all that up to date on them, missing quite a few with the exception of the ones they played at the office. He just hadn’t much felt the need to play any of them if he was honest, instead choosing to spend most of his free time dicking around with Gavin in the pool or going out to eat in a different place every night. Michael didn’t at all feel like he was missing out, and that shocked him a bit, because he’d always thought that the day he started losing interest in video games would be the day the earth stopped spinning.

Michael freely admitted all of this while finishing off his hamburger, thinking nothing of it, watching Ray already kicking ass in Halo. When he didn’t get a response, he looked over and noticed that Ray had a knowing kind of smile on his face.

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“What’s the face about?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ray said in that tone he always had when he could barely contain his mirth.

“ _Ray._ ”

“What? Nothing! I’m happy for you.”

“ _For what?_ Ray, what the fuck is going on?”

“ _You_ tell _me_.”

Michael threw his hands up in a silent, frustrated question.

“You and Gavin.”

Oh. Right. Michael had completely overlooked the fact that Ray was observant as fuck when it came to these things, and he might or might not have been projecting as he was too relaxed in his company to put up any walls.

Things had been… developing. Kind of. Basically it started (or, to be more precise, started escalating) when Gavin had his little meltdown, and went lazily from there.

The morning after, when Michael was getting ready to either drive Gavin home or go to work, he yelled for him to hurry up and stop fiddling around in the bathroom. When he finally emerged, all smiles, Gavin held onto his hand (not his arm, like he used to), announcing that he was ready to go. He planted a minty-fresh kiss on the corner of Michael’s lips, thanking him for waiting.

“Did you… use my toothbrush?”

“Might’ve done.”

“You’re gross.”

“As if you care.”

Michael thought for a couple seconds and realized that no, he really didn’t. “Where to?”

“Work, right?”

“Okay.”

Michael thought that the morning would be awkward, but it wasn’t. At all. It was actually kind of cute in a simple, domestic kind of way.  

It carried on throughout the week. After Gavin found out he was invited to the family road trip on Thursday, he spent all of Friday at the office sitting next to Michael, bugging the living shit out of him and preventing him from doing his editing. At the end of the day when Geoff told him it was time to go, Gavin asked to “have a word with Michael in private for a sec” which turned out to be about a ten minute long make-out session in the conference room. It ended with a long, happy sigh and promises to see each other on Monday.

Even though Michael had thought about staying in late on Friday to catch up on work, their little rendezvous completely threw him off and he couldn’t for the life of him do anything worthwhile. So instead he went home, walked around with the goofiest smile on his face for the rest of the evening, promised himself that on Saturday morning he’d wake up and go to the office to get some actual work done and not think about it and then he’d go over to Ray’s for a bro-date and before he knew it Monday will have rolled around and he could see Gavin again with the confidence of a man who didn’t spend every waking moment obsessing over that trick Gavin did with his tongue or the apparent fascination he had with Michael’s hipbones and god fucking damn it everything went to shit because Ray couldn’t fucking keep that infuriating smirk off his face and suddenly Michael realized he hadn’t spoken a word for lord knows how long and Ray was staring at him, undoubtedly expecting some brilliantly transparent dodge and change of topic.

Instead, Michael gave him an exasperated sigh. “Ask me in a week.”

“Gotcha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Important: it has come to my attention that the portrayal of blindness can be considered negative in this fic. I assure you it was not my intention and I apologize to anyone who took offence. My only hope is that no feelings got hurt and that you'll stick it through to the end.


	6. I couldn't do that to myself, not again, not with you, my friend

“Hey, guys.” Michael greeted Geoff, Ray and Jack when he came in on Monday. “Is Gav at home?” he asked Geoff, completely casually and thinking nothing of it, until he saw the little eyebrow wiggle Ray directed at him. It took about a third of a second for Michael to decide that he wasn’t going to acknowledge any such behavior.

“Nah, he’s somewhere around here. I think he’s talking to Burnie.”

Even though Michael was anxious to talk to him, he nodded and sat down at his desk, powering on his computer. He wasn’t going to follow Gavin around. Gavin knew full well that Michael would show up for work and that he’d be in the Achievement Hunter office. Michael wasn’t going to go chase him down and interrupt whatever it was that he was doing just because he was having a hard time containing his little crush.

All of Sunday Michael spent thinking about how he was going to handle the whole Gavin thing. First of all, he decided he wasn’t going to be clingy. Michael didn’t want to smother him. Second of all, he wasn’t going to baby him, ever. Not like he did the first few weeks he was back, because he didn’t know how to handle himself around him. Now he knew that Gavin was fully capable of doing whatever he set his mind to, even if Gavin himself didn’t know it yet. And that lead to the most important decision - Michael was going to try his hardest to make Gavin realize that. To make him believe that he wasn’t broken, just different than how he used to be. And little by little, Gavin was making steady progress. Michael’s only job was to make sure that he didn’t stop going forward, didn’t beat himself down.

And later that day, Gavin finally stumbled into the Achievement Hunter office, and Michael couldn’t have been happier that he immediately asked him if he had a minute to spare and make him some coffee. He didn’t need Michael’s assistance at all, the coffee maker in the kitchen was the simplest thing in the world and Michael had seen him operate it a number of times.

“Is anyone else here?” Gavin whispered over the whirr of the machine making coffee, the beautiful scent clinging to them as they stood way closer to each other than was probably necessary.

“No, it’s just you and me.”

Gavin flashed him a beautiful smile and quickly leaned in, giving him a way too brief peck on the lips. “So, what did you do over the weekend?”

Michael remembered one more resolution he’d made the day before – don’t be a sissy.

“Nothing much. Finally got some work done, hung out with Ray. Missed you.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“Really was. You?”

“Floated a river, got bevved up, did some other stuff.”

“Didn’t miss me?”

Gavin shrugged, making an obnoxious “eh” noise, so Michael play-punched him in the arm, eliciting one of his famous bird-like squeaks.

“Alright, alright! Missed you too.”

“Thought so.” Michael loaded his smile into his words and ran a quick, gentle hand down Gavin’s arm. He knew that there were cameras, he knew that anyone could walk in and see them, but at that moment keeping their little could-be thing a secret wasn’t as important as his need to touch Gavin, to be close to him.

“Can you finish making my coffee? You do it better than I do.”

“60% milk, 30% sugar and a pinch of cinnamon? As always?”

“As always.”

Michael went about making it, and the little delicious “Mmmm.” Gavin let out when he sipped the finished coffee was just about as satisfying as something so simple could be.

Geoff peeked into the kitchen from behind a wall. “Come on, we’re almost set up to film.”

“Just a minute!” Michael called back and waited for Geoff to duck back into the hallway. “Wanna hang out?” he offered to Gavin, making it sound as casual as he possibly could. He’d been trying to get him to join in on the recordings every chance he got, but Gavin almost always politely declined.

This time was no different. “I promised Monty and the crew I’d help them with RWBY. I don’t exactly know how but I think they’ll put me in the stupid ball suit and make me dance.” Gavin made a face.

A disappointed sigh caught in Michael’s throat. They made quick plans to get dinner in the evening and Gavin scurried off.

Towards the end of the workday, Michael set out to find Gavin and go get dinner with him. When he passed the lobby, Burnie caught sight of him and called him into the conference room.

“So, did Gav tell you? Will you do it or should I ask like Jordan or someone? Barb said yes, JJ’s already scouting out locations--”

“Woah, woah, Burns, slow down. What are you talking about?”

“The short?”

“What short?” Michael looked at him in confusion.

“That Gavin wrote? You don’t know?”

“No?”

“Huh.” Burnie gave him an odd look, but quickly shook his head. “Gav wrote a script for a short, it’s about this like gang of dealers and the twist is that they’re smuggling in Kinder eggs across the border. It’s fucking hilarious. You in for playing one of the dealers?”

Michael was slightly taken aback. “Uh, yeah, sure.” A dozen thoughts swirled in his head. He picked the most important one and latched onto it. “Does this mean Gavin’s back to Rooster Teeth? Like, actually employed? Can you do that?”

“I was meaning to ask him, I just got sidetracked. The job’s his if he wants. Whatever he wants, really. It’s just so damn good to hear his stupid squeaky laugh echo down the halls again.” Burnie said and as soon as the words left his mouth he felt mildly embarrassed, but when he looked up Michael was giving him the most hopeful, heartwarming smile. “The fans miss him as all hell, too. And it would be a shame to waste all those years we spent getting him here, you know?”

“Yeah. Can, uh… can I maybe talk to him about that? If he wants to come back, that is? He’s still a bit…” Michael made a weird hand motion and scrunched up his shoulders. “I just don’t want… Uh. It’s a touchy subject; I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed.”

“We can wait, if you don’t think he’s ready—“

“No, no. He’s ready. He wants it, bad. He just needs a little confidence boost.”

Burnie looked him up and down, noticed how excited Michael got. “Alright, well, he’ll listen to you. Get Geoff in on it, too, if you need.”

Plans were already forming in his mind, vague ideas quickly taking shape. “I’ll think of something.”

Burnie stood up and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Get him back, buddy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is taking so long. I've been ill for weeks now and it's taking it's toll. Hope someone's still reading xx
> 
> (P.S. the titles of the chapters are lyrics to the most beautiful song ever, Robert Skoro - In Line. Go have a listen~)


	7. So I close my eyes and just let it all fall in line

“…Michael? Did you put this together?”

Gavin had dragged him to the conference room on Friday morning. There was a sad kind of smile on his face, his grip on Michael’s arm light but firm.

“It was all them.” Michael replied, and it was pretty much true. Gavin was clutching at the USB Michael  had handed Geoff the other night, containing an hour-long audio file from fans all over the world who’d recorded messages saying they’d missed Gavin. “I just gave them an idea and they went with it. I’m sure there’d be more but I wanted to give it to you before the weekend.”

Gavin didn’t say a word.

“They miss you, Gav. We all do. You should come back, I know you want to.”

“I do, but—“

“But what? There is not one good goddamn reason for you not to.”

 “I’m not—I can’t…” Gavin stuttered, and Michael placed his hands on his cheeks.

“You can, Gavin. You can do anything you want to. And I know you want to come back, this is your dream job. You worked so hard to get here in the first place. Don’t piss it all away just because you _think_ you can’t do something.” Michael smiled, hoping it came through in his voice, but he couldn’t tell. Gavin was silent, his expression unreadable. “Gav. Listen. You’re already here. You’re already helping. Burnie told me about the short, and I read it. It’s hilarious. I talked to him and he wants you back, too. Everyone does. There’s no shortage of shit to do for you. The fans want you back on the podcast. You can do voice work. You can keep writing. You can do anything you set your mind to.”

Gavin took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded, holding on to Michael’s wrists.

“Yeah?” Michael almost broke into song right then and there.

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Really, Michael.”

It took a few seconds, but the statement sunk in and Michael let out a wordless sound of excitement. He wound his arms around Gavin’s waist and picked him up, spinning him around, making him squeak and laugh and hug Michael close. As he let Gavin down, he planted a little kiss in his hair and grabbed his hand. “Come on, let’s go tell Burnie.”

x x x

On Saturday night most of the Rooster Teeth company found themselves in Burnie’s backyard. Though Gavin insisted it wasn’t necessary, the man put together a sort of BBQ/welcome back party.

Everyone was happy, eating wonderful food that Geoff and Burnie teamed up to make, and everything was going absolutely great, up until Burnie decided to make a goddamn toast.

He pulled Gavin out of his seat and wound an arm around his shoulders. He held up a beer and everyone immediately stopped talking, the late evening now pierced only by the sounds of night coming in.

Burnie talked about how he’d met Gavin, about the years-long struggle to get him to the USA, about how he even had to fight people in the company to get him here. He talked about how happy he was that Gavin fit into Achievement Hunter so well and that he made friends with everyone at the company with ease.

“…And honestly, the day you left, and we didn’t know if you’d be back or not, I came into the office, and in the history of the company that was the first time I walked into the building and it was completely silent. Dead quiet.”

He went on to talk about how intensely proud he was of Gavin and how he couldn’t wait for him to be back at work. “You’ll do great things, buddy.” Burnie turned to the group of people in various stages of tearing up and held up his bottle. “Cheers.”

A chorus of “Cheers! Welcome back!” sounded and all Gavin could do was hug him and whisper a little “thank you” into his ear.

Everyone seemed to up their alcohol intake after the little speech, and it didn’t take long for the party to become loud and chaotic. The night was an emotional roller-coaster, especially for Gavin, who soon enough found himself being taught weird dance moves by Monty as an assortment of ladies (and Kerry) cheered them on. It was getting late and after a particularly committed spin move Gavin realized that he was far too drunk and tired to be on his feet.

He excused himself and without even thinking, called for Michael in the general direction he remembered him last being, effectively making everyone in the room make fun of the way he slurred Michael’s name (or, rather, his own already warped way of saying it).

He appeared at his side, immediately sliding his hand into Gavin’s. “What’s up, Gavvers?”

“I _might_ vom. I haven’t decided yet.”

Michael let out a faux-exasperated sigh and led him to the living-room couch. “Sit still, I’ll bring you some water. Try not to _vom_.”

On his way back from the kitchen, Burnie stopped him. “Upstairs, second door to the left. Guest bedroom.” He said simply and shooed him off with a chuckle.

Michael decided it was best not to question the little twinkle in his eye and instead set about leading up a very woozy and now (for no apparent reason) giggly Gavin up the spiral staircase.

“Aww, Michael, you take such good care of me!” a muffled sing-song came when he fell face-first onto the bed.

“Come on, you lightweight. Take your clothes off.” Michael pulled Gavin’s shoes off and tried to get him to sit up long enough to unbutton and take his shirt off.

“Geez, you’re not messing around. Undressing me already.”

“Shut up, idiot.” Michael blushed. “Take your jeans off and get under the covers.”

“Mmmm, bossy.” Gavin’s voice was low as he slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. “I like it.”

Michael could swear the room was illuminated by his burning cheeks. He threw the jeans on a chair a little too forcefully and went about trying to tuck Gavin in. “Come on, don’t be difficult.”

“But I don’t wanna sleeeeeeeeeep.”

“Too bad. Bed time!”

“I’ll go to sleep if you cuddle with me.” Gavin flashed such a huge grin, like he’d just thought of the most cunning plan in history, and Michael couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Fine. Move over.”

Michael got under the covers and immediately Gavin popped a few buttons on his shirt to snake an arm across his bare chest. He tangled their legs together and placed his head on the crook of Michael’s neck. “Comfy?”

“Yeah. Sleep, Gav.”

“I’m not gonna.”

“You said you would if I cuddled with you.” Michael found himself playing with Gavin’s hair and absent-mindedly running a finger along his stubbly jaw.

“I tricked you.” Gavin purred, leaning into his touch. “I just wanted to get you up here alone in bed.”

“Well you’ve got me. Now you can sleep.” Michael continued running his hand through his hair, hoping it’d calm him down enough so that he would pass out. “I know how you get, if you don’t fall asleep soon you’ll get a headache and then you’ll be grumpy and I don’t want to deal with that shit.” He tried to make his voice as soothing as possible.

“But _Michael…_ ”

“No. No buts. Shhhh.”

It was working. Gavin seemed to be drifting off. “Will you be with me?”

For a wild moment Michael didn’t quite understand what he was asking.

“Yeah. I’ll be with you.”

He could feel Gavin smile against his skin. “Great. Top. Absolutely tippers.” He muttered and hugged Michael even closer, nuzzling against his neck. “Goodnight, Michael.”

“Goodnight, Gavin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end. 
> 
> I'm so sorry this took so long. I'm not completely happy with it, but I felt that if I didn't post it now, I'd keep tweaking it forever and would end up leaving it unfinished. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read it <3 x x


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